Hard raindrops disturbed my slumber in the middle of the night yesterday and left me still for hours waiting to see if the sun was going to shine. However, as daylight broke Wednesday morning across the morning sky I realized I had to rely on my own light inside of me and on the light in my loved ones around me to brighten my morning. The plan was to leave a little early to get my every other wednesday fix but a few morning snags caused me to move a little slower than usual. When I walked out into the misty air, the streets were calm and somber. I looked at my watch and it hit me,no time for my morning fix. I instantly began to rationalize being late for class because I needed this cup Joy, Delight and Heaven I always found in a Venti Starbucks Caramel Macchiato. Time passed and around 10am I got a phonecall that I thought changed my life for the better. Someone who I held dear to me extended the opportunity of a lifetime to me I accepted and I was ecstatic! I began to make arrangements to rearrange my life to prepare for what I thought was a sign and miracle from God. I pictured my whole life in this new place, doing new things and smiling. Hours later my smile was snatched away by the very same person by a simple phonecall to let me know that they changed their mind and chose not to be in my corner. What’s worse is they didn’t even try to talk to me or discuss it with me before hand. That hurt the most.
My hope was shattered, my heart was broken and I felt like the bottom was kicked out of my dream for my family by my very own family who had total control over the decision to help. I cried and cried through the night asking God, “Why? This was our chance God, why? All I wanted was a chance, Lord, that’s all I wanted.”
After calming down I remembered hearing my hubby and several of my dear friends say, “Maybe it wasn’t for you.” Though that was true it didn’t soothe my pain but it reminded of some other things:
God sees the best in me when everyone else may not see it and/or have any intent on sending any good my way. My help comes from God and not from people or their empty promises. All this hard work and dedication that I am sowing into my commitment to building my family, myself and my education will be reaped if I just continue to trust God and place my heart and my hope in His care and not in the hands of people.
The world nor its inhabitants owe us nothing even when THEY offer it and/or even when they are our own family. Don’t hold any grudges just take it as a sign of who is in your corner and that what you sow, you reap. SOW WHAT you want and desire to come to you and have faith in God and show Him you trust Him by your actions and watch Him work.
Remember, life is not perfect, it is purposed for………………..GREATNESS!!!
With Love From,