The Invisible Open Door called Faith, pt. 1


When journeys begin they often don’t start when people think they do. Most of us believe a journey we watch someone venture upon began in the spur of the moment, blink of an eye scenario. Often we think, “what a surprise! I was not expecting that!” The truth is, if we pay attention to that individual, we will see their metamorphosis began long before the farewell party or before last box is loaded into the moving truck. Their journey began long ago, on the inside.

My new journey that I physically began on Sunday started long before I boarded megabus on this past Sunday. This journey began when I looked into my first born’s eyes and thought to myself, “I will give you the world and all that you deserve, no matter what.” As his little eyes gazed upon my face I cried because I knew at the time I had no clue what I was doing and the means I had would not be enough to give him all that he deserved and needed. My job at the time was just enough to take care of me. My boyfriend and the father of my child who later became my husband was doing what he could but my son had needs that no matter what it was our job to provide them. This moment repeated itself again when I gave birth to yet another beautiful baby, my little girl. She was born under even more complicated circumstances. Not only was she born premature and with health conditions, we were struggling even more to make ends meat and now was blessed with another life to be responsible for. The roller coaster of life kept us hostage but forced us to think, “what can I do to change their lives for the better?” The answer was resounding, “make myself better”.

I searched for new jobs and new ways to increase their quality of life and their educational opportunities but in Philadelphia that was to no avail. The job market kept giving me the cold shoulder and the school system gave me no peace of mind as I proceeded to put my son in their system. Meanwhile, sustaining a family became more and more difficult.
On a trip in March to my sister’s place in beautiful Northern VA I took a ride through her neighborhood to see what it had to offer for my family. The streets were clean and tree lined. Kids were walking home from school as they got off the school bus. The grounds around the school appeared to be a beautiful oasis where the children were met with fun, love, safety and care and not concerned about drug dealers, sewage, garbage and the like, that we were used to. The area where she lived was warm like a mother’s hug, calm yet inviting. I heard constant talk of the bustling job market that was open for the taking. These factors and more sent my mind into deep thought about shifting my family here and making a life for us.
Upon my return home to Philadelphia, I was met with usual Philly news: who got shot, who got locked up, who was murdered, who was fighting and the list went on. I went back to the apartment where I kept my children in doors daily besides to go to school, living in fear that the ravenous violence, God forbid, may darken my doorstep. My mail that week contained a several letters telling me that my son was on various charter school lists ranging from him being number 23 to number 116. The news at the same time was broadcasting that Philadelphia would be losing between 40 to 60 schools in the coming next year or two. As these grenades exploded one by one I became like a quiet storm angry but focused and my mind had been made up at that moment, it was time to go. Philadelphia could no longer be our home. I researched everything I could to get information in order. Schools, work, babysitters, etc. The first attempt failed in August due to circumstances beyond our control but little did I know, God had something cooking ahead that I would have never seen coming……
(Part 2 will be posted tomorrow!)

Remember, life is not perfect, it’s purposed for……………..GREATNESS!!!!!

With Love from,
Nina

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